Not So Smart After All!

In a recent conversation with my husband, I jokingly declared, “I’ve lived so long and made so darn many mistakes, that in the process, I have become very smart. In fact, I might be the smartest person I know — even though no one cares what I think or wants to hear what I have to say.” With that, I self-righteously flounced off to bed.

The following morning, I began reading Eric Butterworth’s book, “The Flow Within”. Haltingly, I realized that I seemed to be missing the profound meaning from the text. I had to admit that I did not “get” the message. “Perchance I’m not as smart as I thought,” I reflected.

Almost immediately, I recalled the face of a young Black woman describing her childhood. She painfully shared attending a predominantly white school in which classmates made fun of her full lips, her wide nose, her kinky hair, and her dark skin. No, as hard as I tried, I did not relate to her experiences of life. Once again, I had to admit to what I did not know. “Not so smart, after all,” I mused.

I did recall thinking my own lips were too small, my neck too long, my ears too large, and my knees too knobby. Oh, yes, I was also the slowest, most klutzy runner in my entire school. However, my childhood experiences did not match hers. I must now admit that I am not the wise old woman I jokingly claimed to be. I remain a confused learner, lacking understanding, and floundering in a sea of questions without answers.

With humility, I venture forth once again as an uninformed learner. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll understand more. I will return to Butterworth’s book. In addition, I will take my place in meetings with those whose lives I do not recognize. Once again, I will seek to understand by being a listener and a learner. Once again, I will ask, “What might my place be in God’s world?” I’m not even close to being as smart as I hoped I would be by this age.

2 thoughts on “Not So Smart After All!

  1. Anita Lynn

    Don’t feel bad! I’m constantly attempting to learn stuff about my computer (I wouldn’t dare tackle me)! So, with about 20 years’ experience, and probably 50 times, I’ve created a data page and envelope so that I might merge that info. Yesterday, I once again merged HER data; this morning, I can’t do it for HIS!! Why? Why? Why? And this is just a machine that’s suppose to do what I tell it to do!
    Keep believing you’re smart; because in my eyes YOU ARE!!!!

    1. Barbara Post author

      Anita, you are so kind! You are a very impressive person with your cards and impressive travel documents. Maybe the point is that we are both attempting to keep learning. By the way, our son who was so terribly sick from chemo and radiation will be coming for a short visit the end of this month. You can well imagine how thankful I am that he is now strong enough for this trip. Thanks for writing.

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