Tag Archives: Behavior Management

How Can We Teach Personal Responsibility?

As a mother, a teacher, and now as a grandparent, I realize how much children want and need sensible limits. I also appreciate that the way adults set limits and redirect behaviors makes a big difference. I want my grandchildren to recognize that life works on a system of consequences. Even more important, I want the children to learn ways to manage their own behaviors. Consequences and solutions toward self-management go together.

The last time I wrote about behavior management, I suggested that consequences that make sense to children produce much better results than punishments such as spanking or yelling. Punishments produce resentment. Consequences should connect to behaviors in ways that seem reasonable to the child. A consequence provides a way for a child to learn and take responsibility. The child realizes, “When I do ____, ____ results.” Matching the consequence to the behavior makes the difference. However, solution thinking beats both punishment and consequences. Continue reading

Dignifying Wrong Answers

We all face occasions when we need to correct a child. How we make the correction has a powerful impact. Although this entry is written for classroom teachers, the message is applicable and useful for parents.

Dignify Wrong Answers

Embarrassing a student who offers a wrong answer constitutes one of the quickest ways to anchor fear of failure and feelings of stupidity. While your job includes giving corrective feedback, the way you respond to a wrong answer will make the difference in whether a student continues to try or refuses to participate. Continue reading

Encourage Effort Over Outcome

Sometimes, well-intentioned teachers and parents create new problems by giving more praise and rewards than a child can accept. Gushy praise and extravagant rewards tend to detract from the pleasure of intrinsic satisfaction. The child receiving the praise or reward may feel I’m not really that great. I don’t deserve this.   Sometimes a child will revert to negative behavior to reveal her true self to you.

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